At great but humble man is no longer suffering.

With sadness but much relief that my father is not longer suffering, I want to let everyone know that my father died peacefully at about 3:00 am this morning. I was at his side at the time along with my brother in law Dan and I had the privilege of being the one who closed his eyes for the last time.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit alone with my father and share with him some thoughts. I told him how much I loved him and how much he and my mother were loved by his entire extended family and by his many friends.  I recalled for him two discussions we had had in the past, the first being the discussion we had out 4 months ago on the day he was told by his doctors that his cancer was terminal and that he had less than six months to live unless he qualified for an experimental treatment and the second, during a visit in the hospital about two months ago.

During the call when he shared with me the bad news  about his cancer, he tearfully told me he was not afraid to die or go through the continued pain and suffering, but was in anguish because he would not be around to care for my mother. I reminded him of our discussion during that painful call and reiterated yesterday that he need not worry because I,  together with his his family and friends, would make sure that my mother received all of the love, care, support and help she would need after he died. While we could never replace his love for my my mother, I reassured him that this worry was unfounded.

I also reminded my father yesterday of the private discussion we had when he was in the hospital and he shared with me that he was pained and embarrassed by all of the inconvenience and trouble he was causing to his family and friends. I recalled telling him at the time that he had earned the love and support he was seeing from his family and friends and that everyone was merely returning the love and support he had given to them in the past. During that earlier discussion, he told me that that he was overwhelmed by the love and support he was receiving and that he found himself wondering if he was worthy of it.  I reassured him that his family and friend thought the exact opposite and believed we would never be able to repay him for the love and attention he had given to all of us in the past.

I also shared with my my father yesterday that his death would cause many to hurt deeply and to shed many tears because of our loss. But I reassured him that this pain we will all suffer in the days to come is a small price we will pay for having loved my father and having been loved by him and that I would gladly pay that price.  

The final thought I shared with my father yesterday was that it was an honor to be his son, that I admired his humility and that I have not personally known a greater man, a man who cared more for his wife, family and friend than his own pain, suffering and impending death. Although he was unable to talk and respond to me, I noticed tears coming from his eyes.

I want to thank everyone who has supported my mother, father and family in past months. Like my father, I have been overwhelmed by your efforts, thoughts and kindness.


Don Jr.