Your word is a lamp to my foot, and a light to my roadway. Psalms 119:105

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Not Skipping About Yet

As I start another day, I think about all I have left. Don has left me with so many sweet memories and learning experiences. He touched so many lives but I was the one he touched the most. Being so young when we married, we kind of grew up together. So many of life's lessons were learned together. I must say that he had a sense of direction that I lacked. I was just starry eyed. He, on the other hand, was mature beyond his years due to his experiences at the oldest in the family.

I, of course, brought into the marriage a good work ethic. No traces of drone in me. I was very book learned but not very world learned. Having older parents, I grew up in a secure protected nest, seeing little conflict. I grew up to be a good student who felt I had a responsibility to use my intellect. I was very studious and a reader. My favorite pasttime was reading.

Don was my intellectual equal. I think he may have had an even higher IQ. There was never any conflict between our minds as we respected each others thoughts. He was prone to correct me when I made a misstep. Sometimes it aggravated me but I knew he was only looking out for me, wanting me not to offend or be rude to someone. I am glad I was humble and trainable.

I credit him with the person I am. My kindness came from my mother and father as I grew up with kindness. My religious need was implanted in me by both of my parents. I would not date Don unless he was a Catholic because I was serious about remaining a Catholic. I only changed when I found the Bible truths that conflicted. Again, I credit Don with looking at the Bible honestly. My life was changed forever because of his direction and self sacrificing nature.

I tried to be a good mother. I was a young mother. 18 years old and a baby who needed lots of care. Again, Don knew more about children than I,having 3 younger sisters, and guided me. He always went with me to the Doctor's appointment, both when I was pregnant and when the children went. He would come home from work, eat and then drive to the doctor's. He was much firmer with the children than I was. I would have been a pushover...doing for them all the time, as I saw the need. He counseled me to teach them to do for themselves. We became a true team with our children. He was better at talking with them while I worked unceasingly.

As to skipping about, I do have a slight spring in my step so the future looks tolerable ahead. My family and friends have been "sticking close". I have so much to live for that sometimes I feel guilty. Don is no longer here to enjoy life. I have much more support than some other widows. Widow is a strange thought. I had to put that information on a paper the other day. Seemed strange!!Rather barren.

Today I am accomplishing some more tasks surrounding paperwork. Maybe I will clean out a closet (mine). I am not ready to go into Don's closet yet.

Bye for now. Thank you for allowing me to sound off in memories.

Barb

Monday, August 16, 2010

Going On With Life With a Smile

I returned last night from Toledo, Ohio, where I attended the JW Convention. It was a three day high as it usually is. I wasn't sure how I would do. Anne Kimberly and Elana stayed with me Friday night and Saturday night because they missed their convention when David and Donna were home to see Dad and I.I found out how it felt to sleep triple in a King Sized Bed. I have already read one of the releases that deals with "The Origins of Life: 5 questions worth asking". I loved it because of the break down of the DNA among other reasoning. Amazing!!!! Science proves creation to me.

I was very tired this morning as is normal after a convention. But I was emotionally strong because of all the good counsel and love given to me. One point that I will put into practice is the comment referring to losing a loved one in death: Mourn but do not let sorrow distract you from the important task that all Christians have this day...that is: declaring the Good News as stated in Matthew 24:14.

Last night when I arrived home from Toledo, there were a teddy bear and vase of flowers on my kitchen table. Beautiful golden roses smiled at me from the vase. Friend Jenny had sent them. What a warm fuzzy!!!

I started my day a little later with a glimpse of Don's flowers outside my bedroom window. They said to me: "Good Morning, Sweetheart". There are some huge white cosmos around the patio. The burgundy hibiscus is still ablaze. The cone flowers need some deadheading. (Tomorrow's job)

I then went for a morning walk although, for the first time, I had to push myself. Teri stopped over at lunchtime. I have unpacked and put most of the things away so this afternoon's joy is to work on the Thank You cards. How can I put into words my thankfulness for all the kind deeds that have been extended to me? Words seem inadequate but I will try.

My throat is sore again as are my ears. My eyes burn. My chronic bronchitis is acting up again: I am whooping, but I am eating fruit for the vitamin C. I am drinking lots of fluids. Hopefully, I can avoid going to the doctor again.

All my love, Thanks for checking on me. Barb