Dad is home

Introduction to the Blog

Whether you call him Dad, Grandpa, Don or Brother Baty, we all agree on one thing, he is a very special person and someone who we all love very much. Because we all care so much about Dad and Mom, and want to be kept up to date on how Dad is doing, we created this Blog. We hope to also use this blog to share our our thoughts with Dad and his extended family and friends.

If you have questions about using the Blog, you can email David Baty (the grandson David, not to be confused with my brother Dave) at david@baty.be.

Telephone Calls

Dad's voice is weak so it is difficult for him to talk on the phone. Mom likes to hear from you and receive your encouragement and support, but she asks that you try to limit your non-essential calls to between 10:00 am and 4:00 pm. Also, please feel free to leave an message with the nurse or their answering machine so Mom can return your call when it is convenient.

Visitors

Dad and Mom love to have visitors, but unfortunately, there are times when they are not up to visitors and need a little peace and quiet. Pleaase try to call in advance if you want to visit.

An update on Dad's Condition

A blockage in the ureter running from his good kidney appears to be the culprit that caused Dad the confusion and restlessness he was experiencing. With his strong kidney not working, there was a build-up of poisons in his bloodstream that made his mind go into 'overdrive' (fortunately, Dad told me he remembers little of the week in the hospital). A stent was put in last Saturday and his kidney was functioning adequately by Friday morning and Dad came home on Friday afternoon, July 16.

Unfortunately, because of the kidney problem and his growing weakness, Dad will not qualify for experimental treatment at Karmanos. Because efforts to continue to fight the cancer will only make him feel worse, with Dad's prior concurrence we have started hospice. Our focus now will be on making sure Dad is comfortable and his pain controlled the best way we can. With nursing care around the clock and moving back home, Dad is in good spirits and getting great care and attention without overburdening Mom.

Dad continues to teach us

Yesterday, with the help of grandsons Brian Verbeke and David Baty, Brian's wife Jessica and my amazingly tireless sister Tish (Teri to everyone other than me), we got Dad moved into his room and Mom situated in the guest room. In the process we needed tools and other odds and ends. Of course, Dad knew where everything was, and his grandsons were amazed at the organization of his tools and garage. When we were finished, with a smile Dad gave David and Brian the admonishment he used to give me - "put them back where you found them" - referring to the tools they had used. (I think Dad also made sure to say it in my presence as he knows I sometimes forget the "lessons of my youth" when it comes to my own tools).

and inspire us. . .
When Dad got the news that his cancer was not curable, he told me that his only angst was that he would not be able to take care of Mom. I reassured him that he need not worry a bit about this and that we (his natural and his family of friends) would make sure that Mom is and will be taken care of. Although it saddened me to have to have such a discussion with my father and best friend, it was an inspiring example of selflessness and love for one's wife. Hopefully the support for Mom he has seen in the past several weeks from his children (and their spouses), sisters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and spiritual family has been reassuring and comforting to Dad.

A thank you . . .

I want to thank everyone who helped Mom over the past several weeks - from taking Mom to the hospital for visits, cleaning up their back yard after the recent storm, making sure Dad and Mom had everything they needed when he got home from the hospital, running errands, to helping clean the house and bringing over meals - as this not only helped Mom but hopefully also demonstrated to Dad that his worries and concerns about Mom being taken care of are unfounded.

Don Jr.